With all the speculation on what’s going to be in the new Apple iPhone – I thought I would sit down and brain storm out my top 8 wish list for the new iPhone (hey – why can’t I have a top 8 list instead of a top 10 list? I never didn’t like convention!):
1) One press car fetch.
An application that enables me to press a button and my car drives itself to my current location. This would save me having to ever walk to the car again. How lazy am I? (Don’t answer that).
2) Noise cancelling
With a touch of a button be able to cancel out any surrounding noise such as idiots playing their music too loud in public or even the wife. I’m so going to get a mouth full for that suggestion – hence the reason for this option.
3) Force Field
I want to be able to press a button and enable a force field around me. That way I could insult anybody I like in public and never fear them seaking immediate punishment upon me. I guess this would be good right up until the battery depletes – which as you know is fairly quick with an iPhone. Or it could just provide a cover above me to act as an umbrella so that I don’t get wet. No more carrying around an umbrella and no more getting poked in the eye with other umbrella’s thanks to my shield.
4) Site to Site beaming
This means I could instantly beam myself to another location. Okay, okay – I stole this from Star Trek and I guess I wouldn’t need an app to fetch my car because I wouldn’t need a car with this option.
5) Smell saving.
You should be able to save smells. Now I’m not talking about those aweful smells – though having the ability to email/SMS smells to people you don’t like might be good. Instead of calling SMS, Short Message Service, we could call it Smelly Message Service (SMS). But, wouldn’t it be nice to be able to forever save the smell of your new leather jacket, favourite perfume (to remind you of your girl friend or wife) or a fresh ocean beachy smell (whatever that is anyway).
6) Instant make up.
Instead of having to wait hours for the wife to put on her make up, just press a button and it’s done. Actually I think the ladies would probably love this feature. You could automatically setup a whole bunch of presets such as clown face, midnight panda, cup cake, cake it on and powder puff.
7) Frequency jamer
Gives you the ability to jam all frequencies within a 10km radius. This would be very helpful on the train to stop of those annoying people screaming into their phones – they simple wouldn’t work. But of course it should allow you to use your phone whilst jaming everybody else – just to annoy everybody.
8 ) Holographic head’s up display (HUD).
Why do we need to be pined down to a boring 2d touch screen. The screen should pop out of the phone in front of you and provide a holographic interface. It should be able to put a full heads up display (HUD) in front of you as you walk. That would be cool. You should be able to look at something/one and get relevant information about that entity, such as stock options, material, dimension (height, width, lenght), weight, cup-size and whether or not the entity is wearing panties (not that a married man like me would ever consider using this option – it’s for all you single people out there). It would be so useful to know whether the mailbox is wearing panties – don’t you think?
That’s all the crazy things I could think of at midnight on a Sunday night – thank god it’s a public holiday in Sydney tomorrow I can sleep in. Yipppeee! 8)
Have you got a suggested feature (I don’t want serious feature – be creative people) – then feel free to add a comment.